Is this a better start to my story?

It seems to me that the past of the story teller is somehow separated from the present- it comes to me as if two different persons are relating, because the humor in both times is different. On the other hand it is very realistic. There are many scenes that looks like periods of my life in which I have lived through. There is something very simple and powerful in the way of narration. It also created curiosity in me about what will happen next. Showing it to a publisher is not a bad idea.